I am becoming more and more talented the older I get. I am now a Rain Whisperer.
This is how it works:
Wait for a baking hot day. Scan sky for absence of clouds. Consult Old Goat about the possibility of storms arising. Old Goat dismisses this as an absurd idea. Set out on a three hour hike, knowing that if it storms while I am out there, a nervous breakdown is highly likely.
Obviously it will storm. I then have to run down that mountain at a terrible pace, sore hip and all, screaming like a banshee. You may think this is a lot of work for 18mm of rain, and it is, I may even be suffering from post-traumatic stress, but it’s worth it.